Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Today is the first physically AND mentally challenging day to be here.
The rest of the days were just mentally challenging.
I am growing and learning and facing things I never wanted to face....
....but now i'm hungry.....
really really hungry and all I can think about is a big fat cheese burger from In N Out
My butt is a little sore from sitting nonstop and I just have the urge to sleep all the time.  
But sleep during the day means no sleep at night, which I experienced last night.
The hunger and deprivation of sleep is resulting in me being a little bit resistant and a tad bit irritable.

Now on the positive side, yesterday, Bode and I got to work on our relationship.  
Learn to become more of a team.  
Learn what it meant to give unconditional love instead of conditional love.  
As much as I hate to admit it, I was much more of the conditional love kinda person whereas no matter what shit storm Bode and I had just gone through, he still loved me just as much as he did before.....AND HE SHOWED IT!  
We worked through little things that rubbed us the wrong way and figured out what triggered each other.
We gained new tools on how to approach certain situations and how to appreciate and love better than we already do.
But here's what made me the happiest....when Anahata (the leader of this meeting) showed us what it meant to be in a conscious and healthy relationship and bullet pointed the necessary qualities to succeed, Bode and I were almost right on with every bullet point.

Later in the evening, we had a chocolate ceremony.  I was so excited to get to eat chocolate that I raced out and sat down and waited to receive a little piece of goodness.  Well, guess what, it was a raw cacao nut with a little bit of vanilla bean and chili's brewed together into a tea. 
Not what I was expecting.
But it's what kicked off our "Dance of Liveration"
After our "chocolate ceremony," everyone picked a card from the display in front of us.  Each card held a word and an image.  With that word we could apply it to what we wanted or needed from the spirits or we could come up with our own prayer.  Everyone was then blindfolded and lights turned low.  Music began to play and our job as the pioneer's of our own journey was to dance, without judgement, and create the physical expression of our prayer.  I couldn't stop laughing because I just kept thinking of how Bode would be dancing.
Little fairy wings and spinning all over the place is the image I played in my head for his chosen style of dance.
At first, it all seemed so silly....until I picked my card.  It was dead on.
in big bold letters across the top of my card.
Holy (*&^R%()*^&)(**(*&%$!!&&(*!!!!!!!!!
It couldn't have been more perfect.  
I didn't connect to the dance as much as some of the others, but when we gathered again at the end to share our individual experiences, it was spooky how everyone's cards directly connected to the journey they were trying to lead.
Bode's card read
which then showed two trees with separate roots joining into one trunk and all branches intertwining.
It was incredible to see how this connection between prayer and dance blasted some of our Grace Grove family into a new place.
Places of hope.
Places of understanding.
Places of pure joy and healing.

There is something very special about this place.